I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
