Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
