you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
