How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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