Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
it glows. i had to have it.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
