we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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