are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I can't turn off my feet"
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
