If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
you will always have a special place in my vag
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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