found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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