people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
