I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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