It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
