Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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