I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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