i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
there was a trapeze. enough said
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
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