I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
