Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
