Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I pour the whiskey from now on
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
soo... how was my night?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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