I want to walk on stilts...naked
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
