It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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