OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
