Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
