he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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