Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize