The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
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Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
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First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize