I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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