I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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