But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
