i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i just had sex bonerless
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
