the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
