so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
COCAINE IS GR8
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