just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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