How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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