She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
