i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
