good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
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