8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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