we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
