I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Randomize
