So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
