Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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