that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
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