i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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