do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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