just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
