used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I'm both gender and math confused
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
