i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
