I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize