Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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