Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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