Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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