i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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