yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
