I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
