Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Randomize
